I can't believe it...

It's amazing to think that almost 14 years ago I gave birth to a beautiful son, Daniel Allen. If you are some one that didn't know me 6 years ago, you might not be able to fathom the fact that I am a mother of a teenager, better yet, going on 14. I met Danny's dad when I was 14 years old, well not for the first time, but that's when we "fell in love", ha ha ha! Even though his passing happened 7 years ago this July, not a day goes by that I don't think about him and his sweet spirit.

It's that time of year again with his birthday coming on April 7th. As the time approaches I notice a change in me, I'm more stressed, depressed, lonely, confused, etc. I try not to feel this way, but it is just the way of it. In feeling this way, I try to focus on the positive, the good times and on his special birthday, celebrate for him. Being that his birthday falls on a weekday, I'll be forced to go in to work, but have a plan of what Enzo and I will do to celebrate his brother that day. I will pick him up from daycare, go through the McDonalds drive through and order him Danny's favorite meal there and then we are going to the graveside to have our picnic dinner. I'm actually excited to celebrate this day with Enzo, having Danny in thought.

I wish more of you had the opportunity to meet my special son. I think God takes the best which in turn leaves a lasting impression on each one of us that were involved in his life to live and learn from the example of who he was and is. Danny was my little man that was full of love, adored his mommy to the fullest, always greeted me with huge hugs and kisses, we sang, we danced, we learned together and played together...he was my right hand through out a huge part of my teenage and early twenties, memories that stay with me forever. You are missed and will always be missed Danny. No matter how much Faith I have, you will never know how a mother feels when she looses a piece of her, it's with her forever.

And brudder (you know who you are) if you are reading this, know that I love you very much. Please know that things happen for a reason and all the while you were strucken with a huge amount of pain and memories, Danny lives within us and wants us to be happy and remember the good times we had. We had so many great times together, he loved his Uncle so much and I'll never forget everything that he gave to Danny and the love that he showed to him. From Pringles to Reese's peanut butter cups, Uncle treated Danny as his own. I'll never forget conversations we had where Uncle was concerned about Danny as he got older, not knowing how he would turn out as a teenager because of the situations he was raised in...we know now that Danny is safe and where he needs to be, where we all will strive to be one day, in peace and wanting the best for us.

Happy Birthday Danny, Mommy loves you dearly!

First Boo Boo...

It's part of being a kid right? Enzo got his first boo boo and it was sad. All it takes is one little fall, lose of balance, etc. and this is what happens. Fortunately the rod iron stair rail cleared his ear and only affected the upper portion. I thought I was going to have to run in for stitches, but the bleeding stopped and we were ok. I have a better picture I'll have to post when it's downloaded, until then, you get the point...ouchieeeeeeeI've had some back pain since Saturday, but am hoping it goes away soon. It's real frustrating when I can barely pick up my child, let alone feel pain every time I get up, walk, stand, etc.

Things are going great these days, we couldn't be happier. Like a lot of people out there, we are struggling with the money situation, but life always works out and I'm not going to let myself get worked up over it at this time.

Just a note...

I've been so amazed at Enzo lately, he seems to be scooting along in the intelligence department and it makes me a proud mama. He's been trying, and doing a great job at it, to repeat what I say. I wanted update you on his new words...

Cheese
Teeth
Cracker
Dog
Truck
Duck
Apple
Up

Yes, he says all of these words, on and Banana of course. When I read to him, he repeats the things I say.

I found it awkward that when his father came over the other day, he looked at him, gave him a half smile and then put his head down with a pouty face. It's not often that Enzo ever does those things to ANY ONE, so it always makes me wonder what his thoughts are. There is a slight possibility that his father may be going back to Uruguay, while it will be interesting to explain things to Enzo as he gets older, I think it's the best thing for his father and I know without a doubt that Enzo will be ok. We'll see what happens in time. I will miss the child support, it's rough without, but we always seem to manage in some sort of a way. If only daycare and medical weren't so expensive, we'd be doing great.